Bullying affects us all. Practically everyone has had some experience of it, whether at school or at work. Its impact can be lifelong. Millions of children in the UK are going through its daily humiliation; suffering vicious verbal abuse and physical attacks in playgrounds, corridors, classrooms and online, often leaving them too terrified to leave their homes. It’s no surprise that that both children and parents say bullying is among their top concerns.
What is bullying?
According to Dan Olweus bullying is- "A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself."
This definition includes three important things:
1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions.
2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time.
3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength.
Types of Bullying
Bullying can take on many forms. Some of these types of bullying are listed below:
1. Verbal bullying including derogatory comments and bad names
2. Bullying through social exclusion or isolation
3. Physical bullying such as hitting, kicking, shoving, and spitting
4. Bullying through lies and false rumors
5. Having money or other things taken or damaged by students who bully
6. Being threatened or being forced to do things by students who bully
7. Racial bullying
8. Sexual bullying
9. Cyberbullying (via mobile phone or Internet)- find out more about cyber bullying
Bullying can also be part of other forms of abuse, including neglect, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
If you are being bullied in person or online, then you might think that it's your fault. It isn't.
No-one has the right to bully you. If you speak out about it, there are people who care - they will listen to you and help you.
What you can do
There are many different things you might be able to do if you are being bullied. Different strategies can work in different situations. You might try and work it out by yourself. However, if the bullying doesn't stop you might find it helpful to ask someone else for advice and help. Don't be afraid to let someone know that you are being bullied - they can help you.
Asking someone for advice and getting help to stop bullying
To stop bullying - be it verbal, written, or cyber bullying - it can be helpful to tell someone that you are being bullied. This may seem scary at first, however, telling someone can lighten your load and help you to work out how to solve the problem and stop being bullied.
Talking to someone is particularly important if you feel unsafe or frightened, or if you don't have many friends. Asking for help or talking to someone about the bullying is not being weak or 'giving in'. In fact it takes a lot of strength and courage to ask for help.
There are many people who might be able to help, including friends, older brothers and sisters, teachers, family, counsellors or parents. Teachers and counsellors are specially trained and it's their job to help stop bullying. For bullying in the workplace this could be a Human Resource (HR) manager or union representative.
Some tips for getting help
There are also websites and hotlines that you can use to get help. These include:
www.childline.org.uk or 0800 1111
Note: information has been used and in parts quoted from the beatbullying website, the olweus website, the stop cyberbullying website, the reachout website and the childline website.
